Chapter 13

Was half crucified today, they came in the early morning. I reached into the sky before dawn and my hand came back covered in silver moon blood. Shooting starts penetrate and peirce through my bones like chalk through a coke addicts vein. The sickly suicidle immortal blood hit the floor as cum sprays a guitar..warm bed and restless legs rape the sheets and strangle blankets, twisted upon one another in a heap and screams energe from the pillow, gray day and half drawn shades paint a dull white room a stale mood of pain, nothing and the void, cant find my hands as the world moves around, trapped behind this wall as it moves closer to me i look at it covered in scrapes and marks, its harder to remeber how to write simple words become complicated, a memory that is becoming something else, raindrops that flickered on the window would have been a friend but no rain came at least i couldnt see any as i stare at a blank window to the stars, an unchangin scene of outerspace nebula, little black icons with purple trim try to compliment there window pane, a black dock emerges as well and has little comprehension for other things, opening up deep resrouves of pain inside that i tried to hide, even old scars dont seem to be abble to hide even in the sunshine, some hope to fade in as pale white becomes golden brown, other scares to deep to ever be hidden will be there forever, some even open up again and spray blood in my face making me blind to the feelings i thought i could live with forever, those memories of past life where winter stayed with you everyday, a great tree in the forest that cannot stretch its leaves towards the sun, it has no choice but to go to sleep, when it does there is no air to breathe, thought these wings would come out like a great eagles, angels wings like eagles wings are not to be, only the pervertedly stupid angels who spend there days in heaven praising God and loving him, while never knowing what hell looks like or the deamons that live there, they have no percetion of what is on the other side what is below or above, angel wings come out like razor blades, through the skin in a peircing pain, face down naked in an empty bath tub, with the shower running, head in the hands, learning to stand in the torrent, other things go on out the window but what do they mean, leave the place and keep moving down the street, green cars run of the tracks, jupiter is falling and i have no love, cant seem to hide the things that really go on everyday when the happiest moments are so strange, crying love to a girl that isnt there, i loose all my voice and the lungs dont breathe in the moments i want to have, unchanging path and planets that take orbit around a dying sun, not long to be but why stay around, i thought these ghost would be my friend when they showed me what would come but instead i am left alone and cold with no feelings of what the present is, lost again, muscles ache out in the neck, as i run on empty to fall apart in the tortured sheets